THE DEAD TIMES
DEAD ARE COMING...
Episode 2 - There could be werewolves
So far the adventure of Leroy and Calvin in this Zombie-infected wasteland which is Florida has been, well, a bit boring really. The two brave / foolish heroes decided to take the long drive to Canada - an area the 'too-cool-for-school' Leroy has promised his buddy Calvin is Zombie free. They went looting in a factory, finding precious little - even the living dead were peeved at the emptiness of the industrial structure. They then came upon a large camp of apocalypse survivors. These fools were uncool, none of them heading to Canada but, upon hearing the tall tale of Leroy and Calvin’s escapades so far (mostly made up), the uncools gave Leroy and Calvin a disturbing amount of ammunition, ominously warning that they would need it later. Gulp!
Back on the road again, Leroy pipes up with a profound question; "Why couldn't it have been a werewolf apocalypse?". This seemingly wayward question was then unarguably justified with the statement “At least then there’d be werewolves!”. This, of course, would give the present 'end-of-the-world' situation an astronomic coolness factor, though, for the ever practical Calvin, it would probably mean certain death, werewolves are a bunch more dangerous than shambling Zombies - best to just smile and nod, reassuring Leroy that he has brought up an intriguing question that has obviously been well thought-out.
The two sit in silence as they cruise down the road, perhaps pondering what a future with werewolves would actually be like, as buildings, shopping malls and, the more than occasional, wandering ghoul, move noiselessly past the closed windows. It’s not long before Leroy again interrupts Calvin's thoughts however - this time complaining of toothache. Now… this is quite a big deal in the apocalypse as dentists have been in short supply ever since the outbreak happened - the hungry dead just seemed to gravitate towards the poor souls (can’t catch a break those guys). Calvin thinks it is a conspiracy; I mean, think about it - the Zombies that walk around chowing down on folks, they have bad teeth, right? Well, if the government, or whatever, comes up with a cure, the infected may become human again but their teeth ain't going to magically get better. So, what are we going to need after civilization recovers? Good dental care. I’m talking dentists man, boatloads of 'em - the people that can get people’s teeth back in shape. That's why you can't find a dentist worth a damn in the apocalypse bro, they all up in their government funded airships or chillin' out in an underground bunker.
That being said, the team still needs to do something about Leroy's tooth before it gets infected, the horror of a Zombified tooth is simply unimaginable. Luckily, Leroy has seen this in a cartoon once and knows exactly what to do (sort of). He, from the outside of the car, ties his tooth to the door. Calvin sits in the driver's seat and will slam the door shut as soon as Leroy gives the signal. After a count of three, Operation 'Remove that tooth' goes into action. Calvin slams the door, a little too forcefully. Leroy, caught unprepared by the sudden jolting string, careers forward. His head impacts the metal exterior significantly and he feels pain, reducing his health and damaging his morale. The tooth did not come out and the Operation is deemed a failure.
Next, after a little more driving, the team - who have just noticed that their sweaters match - stumble into a town that looks loot friendly (good for looting that is, not some sort of special town setup specifically for those who like to steal stuff, that would be absurd). Again, there aren't many Zombies around and the measly few who are in residence appear stoned, slowly milling around like… well, Zombies. There are two options: the safehouse; a house with a “Safe Here” sign on it, or the convenience mart. They choose the one with the sign - it's the safer choice.
What could possibly go wrong?
© Screenshot from Death Road to Canada
Still, the place is lousy with walking dead so if it ever was safe, it's not anymore - unless it was a safehouse for Zombies, that is, where they can hide out from ruthless survivors, in which case, it's still not safe anymore…
Some good loot inside though; a rifle (groovy), some bullets for various guns, a medical kit (pleasing Calvin), one rusty machete and some mysteriously well-preserved cheeseburgers - awesome. The surrounding houses are checked as well, to maximise the haul. Check this grisly scene…
'Til death do us part
© Screenshot from Death Road to Canada
Calvin comments on how romantic and sad that is; a couple, barricaded in their minimalist bedroom, no way out, Zombies outside, took their own lives, holding hands forever, even in death - an emotionally moving image. "Cool it, dude", comes the response from Leroy before stealing everything useful from the bedside cabinet. The two move on but find nothing more of interest, all the other houses in the neighbourhood are barricaded shut with impassable mounds of rubbish - the ultimate defence against the living dead.
Still, not all rubbish is equal, as the two find with the group they roll up on a few miles down the road. All this driving is sapping up the gas real good and Calvin is getting worried - ordering Leroy to stop at the next people they see in hope of trading. Leroy calls Calvin a whining whinne but does what he asks. The other group is only willing to trade food, ammo and a rifle - crucially, no gas - for help protecting them from a posse of bandits they managed to piss off. Now, Leroy has seen the sixth season of The Walking Dead and has no intention of going up against Negan. Calvin tries to convince Leroy that Negan is just a fictional character but Leroy is having none of it, pushing the pink-haired medic into the car and driving off at hooligan speeds. Phew - that could have been very dangerous.
DIARY:
Leroy and Calvin's Excellent Adventure
DIARY WRITTEN BY:
ENTRY DESCRIPTION:
In the second episode of this very excellent adventure; the nature of the current apocalypse is called into question, one of the team report a very serious injury, a conspiracy theory is raised, emotions are dealt with and a great threat is narrowly avoided.
DATE ENTRY UPLOADED:
25/09/2016