THE DEAD TIMES
DEAD ARE COMING...
The Zombie Giftocalypse VIII
Merry Zombie Christmas folks and have a fright-filled New Year; it is that time again, as the year draws to a close and the cold gloom of eternal night draws ever closer, to stock your homes with coffin-like parcels of unearthly joy. As has been the case for years past, I, humble servant of the undead gods that watch over our little website, have gathered a fetid list of ten diabolical Zombie gifts to buy that ghoul-lover in your homely horde. These moth-eaten items of doom have never been mentioned before on The Dead Times; new cadavers recently re-animated, never before finding the strength to burst from the locked tombs or buried coffins that housed them, now set loose upon the world.
1. Zombie Busts
Buy 'House by the Cemetery - Dr Freudstein' on Mad About Horror
Buy 'Fulci Zombie - Poster Zombie' on Mad About Horror
Buy 'Dawn of the Dead - Airport Zombie' on Mad About Horror
Buy 'Zombie Holocaust - Poster Zombie' on Mad About Horror
Buy 'Fulci Zombie - Boat Zombie' on Mad About Horror
Ok so am I cheating a bit here, including five products as one, but I don't think the dead ones will mind. They - each one - are so spectacularly detailed and hideously crafted that all five simply had to go on the list. Is the House by the Cemetery bust really depicting a Zombie? To be honest, I'm not sure as I have never seen the movie to determine if it involves Zombies - the gnarled beast in the bust definitely looks like he could be a Zombie. In any case, all the busts are marvellous, my favourites being the 'Dawn of the Dead - Airport Zombie' and 'Fulci Zombie - Poster Zombie'.
2. The Living Dead
I have actually owned this book for a while and am slowly trudging through its extreme-lengthy tale of blood and survival. From what I have read so far, it'll get a stonkingly positive review on The Dead Times. Mind you, coming partly from the mind of George A. Romero, 'Godfather of the Dead' and mastermind behind the modern Zombie genre, you could not have expected anything less than excellence.
3. Peninsula
Peninsula is the sequel to amazing Korean Zombie film Train to Busan. Train to Busan is a terrific movie and is definitely one of the best Zombie films I have seen in recent times, receiving an outstanding 96% score on movie review website, Rotten Tomatoes.
4. The Walking Dead - Water Walker
This aquatic demon was featured in season 9 of The Walking Dead and shows in grotesque detail the effect on a dead body being left in the salty ocean for too long. His bloated flesh, heavy with absorbed water, hangs loosely on withered bones - any rigid form they provided to the body has been eroded away. Whatever clothes the Zombie once wore, the former shield of its true repugnance, have also rotten away with water and salt, the odd scraps that remain, fusing with the mangled flesh to form soggy, matted clumps of clothe-skin. This is one true horror that only the most devout of Zombie-fans would dare want - if only for the sheer unholy unique-ness of it.
5. Uneeda Medical Supply baseball cap
Remember the opening sequence of The Return of the Living Dead - the bit that featured the sign of the Uneeda medical supply warehouse that would be ground zero for the Zombie epidemic? Well, with this trendy baseball cap, sporting the logo of the legendry company, you can look just like a proud supporter of the mishap-prone organisation.
6. The Walking Dead - Zombie Camp t-shirt
Buy short sleeve version on Amazon
Buy long sleeve version on Amazon
This Zombie t-shirt takes the theme of The Walking Dead - survival at any cost - and blends it with the outdoor summer-camps popular in the 1980s. It reminds me of Friday the 13th's Camp Crystal Lake and anything that blends one of my favourite TV shows with one of my favourite movie franchises is definitely a worthy purchase in my undead-laden book.
7. Zombie Flesh Eaters poster
Zombie Flesh Eaters is a terrific movie - earning a whopping 4-star review on The Dead Times and a record-breaking 5 Zombie heads for outstanding Zombie quality. This official movie poster is an excellent way to so your appreciation for classic undead horror.
8. I, Zombie
This is a most unique Zombie tale that I cannot wait to sink my rotten teeth into; one that is written entirely from the Zombie's perspective. Forget survival, forget struggle, the battle against the dead; you've already lost, already been bitten, become one of the shambling horrors you formerly tried so hard to defeat. What is it like to wander the streets without direction, to patrol the empty spaces of society without want or need? Is your soul truly gone, your body taking over to replace any semblance of former humanity or are you still there, trapped inside a shell, a prisoner in the very thing that once gave you freedom, a protagonist unable to alter the events happening around you but fully aware of your new-found diabolical intent?
9. Zombie Army poster
Zombies and Nazis go hand-in-hand; they are (or, in the case of Nazis, were) global threats, terrors that affect the whole world. Zombie Army 4: Dead War is a perfect example of this unholy union and, it is from that video game, that the horrid, battle ready Nazi-Zombie from the above poster stems. The glowing eyes add an extra sense of ungodly power to this ghoul, super-charged and driven forward by an unimaginably evil force to complete the quest of the Third Reich, bringing the entire world under German rule.
10. Growlers
A world ravaged by the outbreak of a new, fast-spreading virus? In this new decade, it sounds far too real but that is just how this taught Zombie-thriller starts. Taking place in a small town in the Balkans, a vacationing family soon finds there ideal winter getaway turn into a nightmarish battle for survival in which they are completely unprepared. Reported as being much more than a scary book with Zombies; forcing you to think about what you would do at each juncture, how far you would go to survive and what lengths you would go to to keep your family alive in a hostile world.
DESCRIPTION:
Christmas 2020 draws near and, once again, I have toiled, trawled through the dizzying complexities of the World Wide Web (and its dark undercurrents) to bring you the eighth annual Zombie Giftocalypse article. Contained within its mouldering outer shell are ten goreious gifts to purchase the tainted Zombie-fan in your life - how deliciously evil.
CATEGORY:
The Zombie Giftocalypse
WRITTEN BY:
DATE UPLOADED:
29/11/2020