THE DEAD TIMES
DEAD ARE COMING...
The Zombie Giftocalypse VI
There's a chill in the air, the nights are drawing in, the weather is turning frightful and the undead are about to rise from their tombs… yeah, okay, I made the last part up - its not the start of the apocalypse but that wonderfully festive time of year were mankind sets aside its differences with one another to celebrate Christmas. If all the cheer is getting you down though, fear not you lovely bunch dark-hearted individuals. The Zombie Giftocalpyse is back with yet another helping of ghoulishly good gifts for you to gobble up in time for the big day. Even if you have become infected with the Xmas spirit, there is sure to be a Zombie fan you know who could use some freakishly festive fear in their lives.
So, without further needless witticisms, here is the list of 10 ultimate gifts for Zombie lovers this holiday season - the usual rule applies, any item that has been mentioned or reviewed on The Dead Times before is not in the list, keeping things new and fresh (fresh brains are the best brains).
1. Night of the Living Dead Ultimate fan bundle
Link: https://www.nightofthelivingdead.com/products/bundle-collectors-box-t-shirt-poster
With this year being the 50th-anniversary of the movie that started the whole Zombie craze, not to mark it in some special way would be a crime against Zombie-fandom! Living Dead Media are offering some truly fang-tastic gifts for you too sink your teeth into and honour this classic movie in style. Did I just insert a vampire pun into a sales pitch for a ghoulishly good Zombie item? Yes I did, but I don't care - it's time to celebrate! The ultimate fan bundle costs an arm and a leg (ho ho, the puns just keep coming) but, for those wanting to keep funds in reserve for the inevitable apocalypse of walking corpses, you can also order the items contained within separately.
2. The Walking Dead: Negan statue
This statue of Negan from The Walking Dead, bashing Zombies with his trusty barbed-wire crowned baseball bat, Lucille, is absolutely awesome. The detail is superb and I love the 'frozen frame' gloopy blood effect! Another pricey one but, I'm sure you'll agree, it's worth it.
3. Zombie Santa Claus statue
Link: https://www.wayfair.co.uk/garden/pdp/design-toscano-zombie-claus-holiday-statue-cblq1347.html
This garden-gnome-like figure of Santa Claus as a Zombie (Zanta Claws if you will) is the most festive offering on this list. His diminutive stature, green skin, festive Santa suit and stand-out blue eyes give this devilish character a slightly comical appeal so for anyone who wants to give this silent and holy night a macabre feel without going full-on 'Death and Glory'; this is the gift for you.
4. Z.E.D.S. Rising
Having never read this Zombie apocalypse book, I cannot guarantee greatness but if the reviews it has had over in America-land are anything to go by, Z.E.D.S. Uprising is sure to be a winner. The story follows a group of apocalypse preppers known as the Z.E.D.S. who long prophesized the coming of the dead (smart guys), accepting the challenge of helping mankind survive through the dark times ahead now that death, is not what it used to be.
5. Zombie Apocalypse Survival Rules poster
Link: https://www.allposters.co.uk/-sp/Zombie-Apocalypse-Survival-Rules-Posters_i10257137_.htm
This small poster lists all the rules for survival during a Zombie Apocalypse provided by the outlandishly good Zombie comedy movie, Zombieland. Although humour is obviously the main goal of these pointers, a few can (and should) be taken seriously. My favourite is "If in doubt, know your way out" which, as well as being catchy, teaches you the vitally important lesson of always having a way-out; an escape route for when things go bad - something that I guess would happen all too often when crazed, emotionless, re-animated dead people want to eat your flesh. "The double tap" is another great rule to adopt; a wounded Zombie is not a dead Zombie so going that extra mile on a downed corpse is nothing to shy away from.
6. Zombie garden gnome
No garden is complete without at least one Zombie garden gnome; this one is super detailed and is sure to bring some ghoulish goodness to your green area. Sculpted to look like the gnome is rising from the ground, reaching for nearby prey, it is the perfect gnome for a shaded corner. Don't want it in your garden? No problem, this gnome will look just as good indoors.
7. Dead Shack
Dead Shack is a Zombie comedy film with a fairly unusual plot; three teenagers, while staying at a cabin in the woods over the weekend (honestly, do teenagers never learn from the thousands of horror flicks that start with a cabin in the woods), they make a gruesome discovery where their neighbour is feeding guests of the cabin to his Zombie family. Errr… that's it really as the rest of the narrative is just the kids fighting to save themselves and their family from the grizzled neighbour and his family. The movie looks more than decent from the trailer and it has had some outstanding reviews so may be worth a watch.
8. The Night Eats The World
After receiving the award for Best Picture at the Canary Island Fantastic Film Festival, I quickly got interested in this Zombie movie set in Paris. However, it is definitely a more controversial entry than you might think. The movie is allegedly short on action and, like Here Alone or I Am Legend, is primarily focused around one person's story, one man's struggle to survive in a city overrun by Zombies.
9. Dead of Night
This Zombie book has a key difference than the hordes of generic (yet still worthwhile) Zombie apocalypse stories roaming the wilds of literature. This plague of undead was started not by an escaped virus, radiation from space or even failed genetic experimentation but a simple side effect of a new drug given to a serial killer on death row. This drug was designed to 'kill' the vile murderer yet keep his consciousness intact so he would continue to suffer beyond the normal bounds of mortality; feeling his body rotting away to nothing as it lies, helpless and alone, under six feet of dirt However, before the killer was buried, he woke up; hungry, contagious and filled with rage - it seems the perfect blend of Zombie fiction and the extreme slasher-horror of the Friday the 13th movie series.
10. Zombieland Jurassic Park t-shirt
Link: https://www.redbubble.com/people/towerjunkie/works/13411135-zombieland?p=t-shirt&style=mens&searchTerm=Zombieland (Mens)
Link: https://www.redbubble.com/people/towerjunkie/works/13411135-zombieland?p=t-shirt&style=womens&searchTerm=Zombieland (Womens)
This Zombieland t-shirt, its logo a mash-up of Jurassic Park and Zombieland, has earnt a place on this list by simply being cool. In addition, with the highly-anticipated sequel finally being released in 2019, 10 years after the original shook up the undead hilarity genre, there is no better time to own a t-shirt emblazoned with this unusual logo - it's time to nut up or shut up. Both men's and women's shirts are available.
DESCRIPTION:
It's fast approaching the annual human tradition of Christmas; a time when people come together and celebrate with the transference of presents. However, in this time of friendship we must not forget those less fortunate than ourselves - the Living Dead; Zombies need friends too. In honour of that humble quest, this article contains a list of ten freakishly festive Zombie gifts for undead fans. Merry Zombie Christmas to you all and pray the coming apocalypse waits for just one more day.
CATEGORY:
The Zombie Giftocalypse
WRITTEN BY:
DATE UPLOADED:
01/12/2018